I was traveling on a train on July 29, 2022. From Chandigarh, I was traveling to Guwahati.
Since I had an EMI for an online course that I wasn’t happy with, I was stressed as I was struggling financially. The sales girl managed to manipulate my mind and forced me to take this course, and despite the fact that I enjoy self-education I took the worst course ever.
In an effort to pass the time and express my feelings, I wrote this four-line poem on the train.
“On a moving train at midnight,
Suddenly, I had an anxiety attack.
I’m fighting against some huge monsters,
While traveling 2000 kilometers.”
Rajita Chopra, a girl from New Delhi contacted me on Twitter after I tweeted this poem.
- Hi, Just saw your tweet, Are you comfortable talking about it? (Her first message)
- These are just words and midnight thoughts. Nothing else. (In order to hide my feelings, I lied to her)
- Oh, I see, How’re you doing now?
- Yesterday night I was on a train. It was a long journey from Chandigarh to ASSAM. I’ll miss Chandigarh and my friends. And I was thinking about my life and all. I’m doing well. Thanks for your DM.
- Take care of yourself. Have you reached safely?
- Yeah, the journey was fine. I got a client too. So it was too good. Sometimes I write to keep myself calm. Maybe it was stress. I cried too. But it’s okay, we should cry sometimes. Right now, I’m at home. Completely fine. ✌️ (I finally told her that it was stress)
- Great! Yes. Writing helps so does crying. We’re humans after all. Glad you’re home. Take care 🙂
- Take care! 💚
That was our conversation on Twitter.
The kindness, questions about my situation, and concern about my life from a completely unknown individual made me happy.
Helping people is always what I do. I try to show support on social media and in DMs. Many people have reached out to me through Instagram DMs to talk about their anxieties.
My point is,
There has never been anyone who asked about my problems, and who showed concern for me.
People assume that I’m always a positive person and that I’m already strong because I motivate them to hustle hard, I’m the person they DM to resolve their mental health problems.
The fact is,
I’m not a strong person at all. I’m just another young guy with lots of crazy big dreams and ideas. I cry so often! There are times when I get panic attacks.
In 2021, I was completely depressed. I’m alive just because of my dreams and my friends. I got to know my real friends even though I lost my team. I never discussed my mental health issues in public.
In the past, I only helped people, and I never sought help from anyone, but now I share my thoughts on social media, and I write about my life and mental health issues a lot. As soon as I start traveling more frequently, I will start creating videos.
There were never any people who inquired about my mental health before Rajita Chopra, other than my best friend, with whom I discuss many of these issues, the only person who always knows what’s going on in my mind.
Later, on the way home from the train station with my father, he also asked me about those lines. I told him everything!
Sometimes we feel lost. We feel depressed as well.
If you feel depressed, talk to your parents, talk to your real friends.
Feel free to express yourself, share your opinions, and share your feelings.
Showing what you really feel doesn’t make you less of a man.
Trying to hide your mental health issues just to comply with the stereotype of a man will definitely be to your detriment.
In case your condition is really serious, you should consult a doctor!
If you’ve no one to talk to, feel free to contact me.
DM me right now @InuEtc on Instagram.
Thanks for reading this article. 💚