Shwetabh Gangwar is a professional problem solver, an author and he has written two books. His first book was ‘A Thousand Love Letters’ and his second book is ‘The Rudest Book Ever’ which became the number one bestseller.
Shwetabh Gangwar started his journey as a YouTuber and motivational speaker. He started his YouTube channel ‘Mensutra’ in 2015 and started posting videos about career choices, relationships, breakups, etc.
In this post, you can read some thoughts and tips of Shwetabh Gangwar aka Mensutra on the relationship, life, career, work, and online trolls.
Let’s get started!
Love can’t make you complete
No love or girlfriend or partner can make you complete if you are incomplete within yourself. They are not the solution.
That’s why it is called COMPANIONSHIP.
They are not there to complete you, but to accompany you in this journey of life.
Aloneness and loneliness are two different things.
You have to find in yourself an identity that talks to you all the time. An identity called yourself. You have to become its best friend.
With this, you build self-reliance. You become your first priority, therefore your mental health becomes your top priority.
You don’t allow yourself to be used in the name of love anymore because protecting yourself matters above them. You find completeness within yourself — and that is the most precious thing.
Confused about your career?
Choosing a career is a MAJOR gamble you take on the cards you feel the strongest about (Ex: any of your interests).
Everybody is filled with self-doubt, it’s a leap of faith in the beginning. Once you have chosen, you make that your biggest purpose.
You dedicate yourself to it. It’s the work of your life. By doing so you learn and discover the wide scope of work within that field. You gain knowledge, skills, and find more knowledge and skills to learn.
Once you choose, eliminate doubt. Until there is enough data for doubt to come back, you cannot grow with doubt constantly diminishing your choice. PICK any of your interests and jump into the battlefield.
Inaction will eat all your time
Inaction will eat ALL your time creating negativity, pessimism, stress, and all sorts of self-diminishing thoughts.
Hate inaction. Rebel against inaction. Don’t ever give in to inaction. Do things.
Make that a rule of your life. I will do things instead of inaction. Pick one of many things you have been putting off, you like, you have to, and start doing it.
Not because you must but because inaction will ruin your mental health, it’s a slow death.
So work. Read a book, go for a walk, run, exercise, do yoga, meditate, learn a skill, learn to create something, better yourself at something, study, prepare, organize, do things.
Doing things that make you feel productive both will better your future and mental health. Inaction does the opposite.
To the online trolls:
The truth is, deep within you, you are angry at yourself. So you need to provoke others to get an angry response which mirrors the same anger in you.
The problem is you live in denial of this anger. So, to escape from it, you purposely NEED to do and say stupid shit to others so you can be distracted from the anger inside you, but still, feel like shit.
My anger, my response, my attention will not fix anything. I am not you. You are you. Only you can help yourself. Please find out why you are angry. Start from there.
Others will come and go, you have to stay with yourself forever.
A tip for people in bettering your conversations:
Don’t attempt to have “deep and meaningful” conversations with anybody UNLESS they happen naturally and organically.
Letting conversations happen vs making conversation happen are two very different things, and understanding this can help you very much with building better relationships with people.
The former requires you to step away and democratically decide the direction and nature of the talk; the latter is airtight, inflexible, therefore not fun.
Only people who feel they have to prove something try to force things. People who are comfortable with themselves don’t need to prove anything — this principle verily flows into your conversations too.
Maturity is when you manage to become friends with your parents
Humans, as they grow up, tend to withdraw from their parents, forgetting we unknowingly conditioned them to our love and company when we were children.
Now as grown-ups, we may not remember this, but they do. We owe it to them some company, some love, some warmth, some satisfaction because we owe them for everything they did for us (unless they were toxic as hell — even then we owe them some).
After 30, almost all humans either start to form friendships with their parents again because they start to relate with them OR become distant with them because we want to forget them.
You will be doing yourself the psychological disservice for life by thinking ignoring and forgetting them is the way. Mend your ways and follow the path of the wise — think long term.
A good relationship with them, mending your broken relationship with them, forgiving them after fixing yourself will bring you long-term happiness and warmth.
Maturity is when you manage to become friends with your parents no matter how impossible they are — never forget that.
Do you find it hard to speak/ express yourself properly?
Start working on expressing yourself first. That means you have to start building skills concerning communication, articulation, speech, sentence building, and structure.
It may also be similar to academic writing. Just practice for 2 hours every day. Take a
topic in your mind. Research on it for an hour, and then try to express whatever you have understood in a structured manner with a conclusion at the end.
It’s hard but can be done with persistent consistency.